EClare Matters: A Degrassi Story
by MadameDegrassi96
Summary: An eclare story, with personal Characters, just read it, hopefully youll love it!
1. Chapter 1

_**So, I have decided to write a new story, but I want to add a couple of Characters of my own, **_

_**Lucas Dean: 17 yrs. Old Hates being called Luke, or anything besides Lucas. Plays football, he is gay, and his best friend is Clare Edwards, who is the only one who knows he is gay. Real cute, has blonde hair, (lighter than KC's, longer than KC's) and ocean blue eyes, (Similar to Declan's) has 1 brother and 2 sisters. **_

_**Caleb Dean: 17 yrs. Old Lucas's Twin, Straight, Plays baseball, wants to be with Clare Edwards. (Identical to Lucas)**_

_**Zoe Dean: 16 yrs. Old Caleb & Lucas little sister, straight, soccer player with Clare Edwards. (Blonde hair blue eyes.)**_

_**Toni Dean: 16 yrs. Old Caleb and Lucas little sister, Zoe twin. (Go Figure. Straw berry blonde hair, green eyes.) Openly gay. No sports. **_

LUCAS POV

"Clare, come on! I am going to be late, for practice, I don't need Drew thinking I can't handle it!" Clare laughed at me! What am I not aloud to have a crush on him? Geez.

"Lucas, he is straighter than straight! Sorry to burst your bubble!" how did she know?

"And if your wondering how I know, Alli just called me last night to brag about their hot make out session last night, she had this stupid party, so he came by after and they made out for an hour." Oh well, with that then.

"Well, maybe I could, maybe convert him?" I made it sound bad, didn't I?

"LUKE!" I tried really hard not to get mad, that's the only thing that really pisses me off.

"CLARICE!" she snorted, it was worth a try.

"You know damn well, that is not my name! Sorry, LUCAS!"

"Much better." Once she FINALLY was finished getting ready, we went to school 2 and a half hours early. I guess I couldn't be too mad at her considering she was doing this for me, but still!

CLARE POV

As I sat there while Lucas got warmed up, I saw Drew, and some other guy come on the field; only the other guy wasn't a foot ball player. He came up and sat down a couple of seats away from me, and pulled out a comic book. I was so bored, that I decided to talk to him.

"Hi, I'm Clare," she looked up from his comic, and smiled at me.

"Adam, why are you here?" he said it out of curiosity, not rudeness.

"My friend, is on the team, he dragged me here, he owes me BIG TIME, you?" he started laughing.

"Me too, Drew is my brother, my mom makes me come, so she doesn't have to make a second trip, and she wont let me walk, so I blame Drew, for being popular." This time we both laughed, we talked for the next 2 hours, then Drew and Lucas both came on to the bleachers saying practice ended early.

"Well, I'll see you tomorrow Adam, bye"

"Yup, bye." Lucas all nasty and sweaty, he tried to hold my hand.

"Ew, I think not sweaty!" he just laughed at me while I fell into someone. I dropped all my stuff.

"Oh, my god, I am so sorry," I looked up to Lucas. "You see what you did?" he just kept laughing. I playfully punched him. With all my stuff in hand we walked away, I didn't pay attention to which I ran into.

I was walking to my first class, when Caleb caught up to me.

"Hey Clare, what's up?" I sighed, sometimes he annoyed me.

"Nothing, you?"

"Nothing really, I was just wondering if you wanted to skip with me, no one really needs P.E. any way, right?" I sighed, yet again.

"I can't sorry, got to go." I started walking away.

"Why, not? I mean you always skip with Lucas, what's wrong with now?"

"Were working on soccer in P.E., I need to get as much practice is as I can, now go away." I really tried to be nice, but it was so hard when I really don't like him, he is always a jerk and ditches his brother for his friends, which is why I and Lucas are so close.

LAST CLASS OF THE DAY…  
LUCAS POV

"Clare, can you give this to Toni after practice, I have to go, Drew asked me to go to the dot with him, and he wants to go running with me."

"Don't be too disappointed if it's not just you two."

"Clare, please, just give it to her!" she is a life saver!

"What is it anyway?" I sighed, always with the questions.

"It's her detention slip, I forgot to give it back to her." She was too smart for her own good.

"Forging again, I see?" not too well I might add.

"Well actually, I was hoping, that maybe you could sign it, you know cause girls have better hand writing, than boys." She sighed in defeat.

"FINE! But this is the last time!" yea!

AFTER PRACTICE  
CLARE POV

"Toni! Hold up!" she was talking with this boy. For some reason Toni didn't really like me, well scratch that, she just ignored my existence completely.

"What do you want Saint Clare?" she rolled her eyes at me.

"I really wish you would stop calling me that."

"What ever what do you want?"

"Well, I just signed, yet another one of your detention slips, because your brother has ugly ass hand writing, if you expect this little thing of yours to work, you should really teach him how to write, but here it is." The boy she was talking to started laughing. We both looked at him like he was crazy,

"Thanks, tell Lucas that thanks too, even though he didn't even really do anything, but with him flattery goes along way." I started to laugh too.

"You always surprise me, anyway, since I did you this favor, you have to do ME a favor." She sighed.

"Of course I do, what is it?"

"I need you to get your brother off my back, he is ALWAYS, and I mean ALWAYS annoying me, I don't really like him so just, do that"

"Isn't he like your best friend?" UGH!

"NO! Not Lucas, Caleb, he is so UGH! I just can't stand him."

"Wow, and he has is always saying how he can get you to go out with him!"

"Well, I guess one Dean is all I can handle, but I wouldn't choose Caleb, ever, even if he was the last person on earth, so just tell him that, because I have tried to be nice, but I can't keep being nice because, he doesn't get the hint, and also, you have to drive me home, considering I have no ride, because Lucas has to do some football thing."

"Nope! I am NOT driving when people can see us together, they might get the wrong idea, and you're not my type, sooooo, yea."

"Fine, then, don't worry, your not my type either!"

TONI POV

As Clare walked away, I couldn't help but groan, she is so annoying sometimes.

"What is your problem with her?" he just can't leave it alone.

"She is just ALWAYS there, I think that she is secretly dating Lucas, but that's her problem. ANYWAY! I have to go, so I'll talk to you later, Eli."

"Yup, Morty needs a good clean, I was thinking about using Bianca's hair, but I THINK it has all the wrong chemicals, oh well." He had a smirk as he walked away.

_**A/N: did you like how I added Eli? I like my new Characters, Zoe will be in the next chapter, as well as Eli, and Adam JUST KEEP READING!**_


	2. Chapter 2

ADAM POV

"Eli man, I am sick and tired of going to Drew's football practice, do you know how much it sucks to wake up 2 and a half hours before you half to? Before the damned sun! It's called morning because of the sun, so why are people even aloud to wake up that early?" Eli always let me vent, always. Drew was getting on my nerves, seriously.

"Dude, tell your mom that I'll pick you up in the morning then." He acted as if it were that obvious.

"Don't you think that I've already tried that, she finds humor in my suffering, I am telling you."

"Why don't you just sleep when you get there?"

"Because, Clare and I talk, and besides, last time I did that, Drew threw the football at me. Not fun." And reading my comics, but I wasn't going to say that.

"Who is Clare?" ugh, I forgot to tell him about her.

"Well some blonde dudes girlfriend or something, she goes to the practice with him, much to her dismay." He had a thoughtful look on his face.

"Oh, well than, sucks for you I guess." Now I was confused,

"Why exactly does that suck for me?" he laughed at me.

"You can't be with someone who dates someone on the football team! She's probably real stuck up." This time I really, heart felt laugh at him.

"Clare is anything but stuck up, she is really smart, she's in our English class actually, but like me she's only in 10th, and she loves to read, I honestly don't know if she's dating that dude, but she only said they were friends, I mean I don't even like her like that, but she looks like she's experienced a lot in the past, but she doesn't judge people or dwell on the past." He nodded.

"Oh, well man, I got to go, see you in English though."

"Yea totally, I'll introduce you to Clare."

"Sure."

ZOE POV

He kills me, first he wants me to set him up with Clare, who I only know because were on the same team, she's my friend and all, but I don't hang out with her, she isn't the kinda girl I would hang out with.

"Caleb, do it yourself, I don't know her like that, get over it!"

"Fine, but I am sooooo going to tell mom, that you were making out with that KC dude, watch." And that is called black mail.

"Fine, I will tell her, but don't expect good results… I heard her talking to her friends saying that you harass her, and she is sick of it. She doesn't date jocks; and you are exhibit A," he glared at me and walked off. He pisses me off sometimes; scratch that, all the time.

"Hey Clare, can I talk to you after practice?" she looked confused, but complied.

"Sure, is everything okay?"

"Yea, totally, I just have ask you something later."

"Okay?"

AFTER PRACTICE  
ZOE POV

"Clare, okay don't get mad, but Caleb wants me to ask you out?" she sighed, she was totally over this, I could tell.

"ZOEEEEE, please just tell him I am not interested!" I tried to protest, but she stormed off, I NEED her to go out with him, he cannot tell my mom about KC, ever.

CLARE POV

This family is so persistent. I swear. I was walking into Adam, when I bumped into someone, yet again; I recognized the shoes, the same person as last time.

"I am so sorry," I looked up at him, he had the most gorgeous eyes ever, and I mean ever. But I snapped out of my thoughts, probably looking ridiculous, he smiled, I think and nodded and walked away, into the SAME CLASS AS ME! I quickly sat at the closest desk to the back as possible, and then Adam walked in and sat next to me.

"Hey, Clare." He smiled.

"Hey, Adam, I have a question." He had a waiting expression on his face, I was so going to get Lucas for this.

"Is your brother gay?" he looked taken back, then he just started laughing, and fell on the floor, then the boy I ran into, with gorgeous eyes, came over to were we were,

"Adam are you okay?" his voice was even more beautiful than his eyes.

"Yeah, I am good," he recovered, then looked at me,

"No, he's not, but I will totally enjoy that for the rest of my life, why do you ask?"

"Well, my friend, Alli has been talking about him non-stop, and I just assumed he was gay." I couldn't tell anyone about Lucas being gay.

"Nope, but anyway this is Eli, Eli, Clare." He nodded.

"Yea, that's we keep running into each other, literally," I smiled. About to answer when Zoe came in the class room, what did she want?

"Clare, you HAVE to go out with him! He has black mail on me, please! I will do anything, PLEASE!" they all looked at me.

"I don't like your brother, or date jocks, I have definitely learned my lesson with that, what black mail does he have?" she didn't look like she really wanted to tell me.

"Well, I was sorta making out with some one on the football team, and he threatened to tell my mom." Of course she was.

"Who was it?" I was going laugh hysterically if she said Drew, her and her brother crushing on the same guy, but unfortunately, no such luck.

"Um, KC-"

"WHAT!"

"I said-"

"Guthrie? KC GUTHRIE?" she nodded.

"Well that's just peachy, tell your brother no, I am sorry but I am not going out with him, he's a jerk, I thought he could take a hint, jeez."

"Fine, Clare, be that way, your just jealous that KC likes me." I scoffed, not likely.

"I am so over him, oh and next time you go and make out, ask him about Jenna, you know his GIRLFRIEND." Her jaw dropped, and she walked out of the classroom.

I looked back at Adam, he looked confused, and Eli looked amused.

"Wait, I thought you just said you don't date jocks?" I don't.

"I used to date, KC which is why I don't date jocks. They can't keep it in their pants." Eli laughed; I love his laugh, like, like his laugh.

"No, I mean I am confused, I thought you did date her brother?"

"Nope, why would you think that?"

"Well, you go to his football practice, everyday."

"OH! No you see, that is Lucas, he is my best friend, his annoying, brother, Caleb, thinks I like him, he plays baseball, not football, and I hate him. His sister, other sister, Toni, was supposed to tell him, that I didn't like him, but I guess there is no stopping him. Zoe, is just, ugh!" then Eli talked, his voice,

"Yea, well I know Toni, remember I was there when you signed her detention slip?" oh yeah!

"Yea, I hope you know you don't have a chance, I mean yea she is pretty, but she isn't straight." He nodded.

"Yea, I know, plus she really isn't my type." I nodded, so mesmerized by the folds, and depth to his musical voice, that sung a slow rhythm of beautifulness out of his mouth.

"Anyway, Adam could your mom give me a ride home, maybe? My ride, being Lucas, who is attending a 'surprise' football meeting, personally I just think he is tired of driving me." He looked to the floor.

"My mom, kinda hates every girl that speaks to me, so probably, not, I am sorry." I felt guilty,

"Don't even worry about, I need the exercise anyway," Eli scoffed.

"Clare, you look fine." I rolled my eyes.

"I know dummy, I mean for soccer, you can't turn down a two mile walk even though you'd rather ride, I think tomorrow I'll just ride my bike, it's faster than walking, and it's not as boring." Eli nodded.

"Or, I could drive you." I smiled.

"you really don't have to, I mean I should just walk." She shook his head.

"Non-sense, meet me in front of the school, at the end of the day," with that being said, Ms. Dawes walked in, I have never been so excited about a ride home before.


	3. Chapter 3

_**HERE **_  
_**IS **_  
_**A **_  
_**WHOLE**_  
_**CHAPTER**_  
_**OF **_  
_**ELI**_  
_**POINT**_  
_**OF **_  
_**VIEW**_  
_**3**_

_**LOVE- J**_

**_

* * *

_**

ELI POV

"Adam there is something about her, I don't know, but she seems so different, different being good though, I don't know I just feel like I have to talk to her."

"Dude, then get up 2 and half hours earlier and keep her from being bored tomorrow, I will have somewhere to be so you can be alone." I smirked at him, always the helper.

"Thanks man."

"No problem, I just have to be a third wheel is all." I laughed at him, I don't think so!

Later on me and Adam were walking to our class when we heard banging, I looked and I saw Clare, with that blonde guy she's always with kissing on the lockers, so much for no dating jocks. But what happened next surprised me. I hid behind the lockers to listen to them.

"Okay, so that was making out, this," she pecked his lips. "isn't making out, so if that happens, it isn't making out, now this," she just kisses him normally. "Is how they would kiss you just because they can, it also means they like you. But if they kiss you like this," she kissed him aggressively, and fast. "is how they kiss you if they just want to hook up, which is why I broke up with KC, is that enough for you Lucas, I don't enjoy kissing you," I smirked, I guess that is something friends do.

"Yea, well kissing you wasn't on my list of things to do either." Her eyes lit up.

"Oh My GOD! I just thought of a way to get your brother off my back!" he looked confused.

"How?"

"Well, if we make out in front of him, coincidently, right where and when he leaves practice, he'll think I like you and not him, but don't worry I definitely don't like you like that." He shook his head vigorously.

"I am not kissing you ever again, sorry."

"You know what your right, he'll think I like you by the way you look, and you both look the exact same, I will have to find someone to do it that isn't you, maybe Adam will do it?" wait, why would she want Adam to do it? Does she like Adam?

"Why Adam?" at least he asked.

"Well, I know that I don't have feelings for him and vice versa, so I don't have to worry about that." Oh, well that's good.

"Maybe you could get Drew to do it?" she smiled. Oh no, she smiled.

"You would like that wouldn't you? Why don't you go make out with Drew." Wait? Was he gay?

"Shut up! No one knows, you need to keep quiet about that." She looked guilty.

"Sorry, but you know I can't choose Drew, Alli would go ballistic, and we can't tell her it's fake because we need him and everyone else to believe it's true."

"Well what about that Elijah guy you were talking about, you seem to like him?" she liked me? Or was it another Elijah?

"No, it can't be him. Someone else." Well that hurt my ego.

"Why not?" yea! Why not?

"Because I know I like him, but he can't like me, and plus I don't think I'll ever date again, even if by some miracle he did like me, I tried to date, and when things got a little carried away, I started having nightmares again, I am just gad I stopped it before it happened, I couldn't live with those night mares anymore." Wait, why would she get nightmares?

"I swear, if he ever shows his face in this town, or freaking country again, I'll kill him, no one will ever hurt you like that ever again." She wiped away a few stray tears, I wonder what they were talking about.

"It's okay, I am getting closure, my therapist has helped a lot, speaking of, I should be home like 30 mins earlier, Eli is giving me a ride, can you be at my house by 5 to give me a ride to my appointment?" he hugged her.

"Yes, I am sorry I can't drive you home, my mom is saying how I use my car to much, so she is making me only use it to and from school now. But I'll sneak it out for you," she stopped him.

"Don't even worry about it, I can just reschedule on a day my mom can drive me, I just know it hurts her, she still blames herself, but it's not her fault, it was okay to trust him, I mean he was my father, we shouldn't of had to worry about him doing that, but it's in the past, and she needs closure too." He nodded.

"I'll be there at 5, there's no stopping me." She smiled and kissed his cheek. Her lips are so soft, but I am still concerned about what she is talking about, I mean about her dad? Oh well, I'll just have to do some research, I can't just ask her directly.

When the bell rang signaling it's time for next block, which is my free period, I will just go do my research.

CLARE EDWARDS

My results were some phonies and then some newspaper articles from like 2 years ago, I clicked on the first one:

* * *

**Mr. Ryan Edwards from Toronto, has been charged guilty to rape and molestation of his own daughter Clare Edwards on multiple accounts, one night waiting to be arraigned he escaped, and no one knows where he is. His family has all disowned him, and his daughter has tried to take her life on more than one occasion, how are the Edwards doing now? Why Clare has taken up therapy, and was sent to a suicide camp, the same one that sister Darcy Edwards was sent to, after her date rape the year before, we have many regards sent to the Edwards residence, and we hope that they continue to do well, Clare attends her local high school, as well as sister Darcy, who went to Kenya, Africa to do charity work, after all this family has lived through, and they still have their faith, I hope you all the best.**

* * *

Wow, and I thought I was troubled, I don't know how she handles this, with everyone knowing. I know one thing though, she just needs friends, no boyfriends, so that's what I will be.


	4. Chapter 4

_**CLARES PASTTTTT (?)**_

CLARE POV  
FREE PERIOD

I was sitting by a random locker, again, with Lucas, examining my scars out of boredom, and then Lucas cleared his throat. I looked up to see Eli standing there; I quickly pulled down my sleeves, and pulled my shirt back over my stomach.

"Yes?" I asked him, not trying to be mean or anything, but I really wasn't in the mood for anybody right now.

"Um I have a problem getting to my locker." Why would I care?

"What am I supposed to do?"

"Move out of the way of my locker." He had his smile on again. I felt so stupid.

"I'm sorry, let's go Luke-ford." I started laughing at him, I don't know why but that's all that really irks him, not calling him by his real name.

"Clarice" he said and stuck out his tongue.

"Not my name, remember?"

"And my name is Lucas."

"Your point being?"

"You know I hate being that."

"I'm sorry but its sooooo much fun, and it's too easy to mess with you, besides you deserve it for not," I stopped realizing I was still in front of Eli's locker, oops! I quickly pulled Lucas's arm so were a few feet away.

ELI POV

They were like children around each other, when she realized they were still in front of my locker, she quickly pulled him away. He started to complain about her hurting his arm.

"Clare bear, look what you did! That's my throwing arm!" then she started being all cute again,

"Want me to kiss it better?" his face puckered up.

"Ew! Clare bear kisses, your gunna give me cooties Clare!"

"Muahahah!" she is so cute sometimes, she was chasing him down the hallway with her lips puckered, I think maybe that's why they were close friends, because of her hard times, and they were there for each other. Then they went off until they were at her locker down the hall. She smacked his arm for whatever reason, and he faked a whine, while she pretended to be mad.

END OF THE DAY  
CLARE POV

I was outside waiting for Eli, the more I was around him, the happier it made me feel, and I've only been around him twice. As I looked at my watch I looked back up to see Caleb standing in front of me.

"Caleb leave me alone." He sighed,

"Clare, I like you, a lot"

"Well I don't like you, so go find another girl." He put his hands on my sides, it made me feel gross.

"Stop, now" he wouldn't stop.

"Caleb, I am begging you, stop; I feel very uncomfortable," when I looked up all I could think about was my dad, I didn't see Caleb, and I saw my dad, standing there, not stopping.

"Dad, stop, please, you're hurting me…" I felt his body being flung off of me, by Lucas, by then I was crying. I wasn't aware of the outside world, I kept crying, feeling his hands all over me, inside me.

"Clare, Clare it's okay, he's not here, relax, it's only in your head, honey please stop." I opened my eyes to see Lucas holding me.

"Lucas, I am sorry, I just, it reminded me of, of…" I couldn't say it.

"Clare bear, I know." Then Eli came outside, and saw me crying,

"What's wrong?" he asked me with genuine concern, I didn't want to lie about it, but I didn't want him to know, everyone who knew treated me differently except Lucas.

"I don't want to talk about it, but Lucas you can go now, I am fine, just keep your nasty brother away from me when ever I am at your house." He nodded.

"Clare, I am going to tell Simpson, okay?" NO!

"No! You can't, I don't need anyone to know," I was forgetting Eli's presence.

"Clare, can you at least tell your therapist?"

"Why? I just want to forget it! She will just make me wear those stupid rubber bands again, they don't work very well, plus I don't need them." Then when Eli talked I remembered he was there.

"Will someone enlighten me with what's going on?" I sighed.

"Not yet," I glanced at Lucas, who seemed uncomfortable,

"Clare, can I talk to you for a minute,"

"Actually Lucas, Eli is giving me a ride, so I should go," I knew he would tell me not to tell Eli, but I wasn't anyway, I would tell him another time. Once me and Eli were alone I tried to explain without telling.

"I just have some problems, there's probably rumors around, I don't know which of them are true or not, but they probably are, I don't feel comfortable talking about it yet, but once I do, I think I could tell you, I just don't like people viewing me differently because of my past, it's the past, so it shouldn't be that big of deal, but sometimes the past lingers into the present." He looked at me, deep in thought.

"I understand, I have a past too, and I am sure eventually you will find out about me as well." I smiled as we climbed into his… _hearse?_

"How come you drive a hearse?" he did that smiley thing I REALLY like,

"Why does it matter?" but he was just being annoying

"Touché" he laughed as I climbed into his seats, my arm was hurting, I looked down to see my recent cut burst open, I jumped out of the car? And took off my long sleeve shirt, that know had a bloody sleeve, and balled it up and applied pressure to my arm, not thinking that he can probably see all my other scars up my arms, considering I am in a t-shirt. He rushed out of the car, over to my side, looks me up and down real quick, then tries to help me.

"You should probably go, I am just messing up your day," he nodded.

"No it's okay, lets get you cleaned up." I tried desperately to cover my arms, he saw this and handed me his jacket, after we stopped my bleeding.

"Thanks, a lot, but why are you being so nice to me?" he sighed then rolled up his shirt sleeve, to reveal scars like mine, only none of his were new.

"Oh," was all I could come up with.

"Why do you still cut yourself?" he asked with concern. I knew I should tell him. So I will.

"When I was 14, my mom and dad were arguing a lot, so one night, I had Lucas come over, he stayed the night, and my dad came in drunken one of those nights and…" I started to tear up, so I quickly cleared my throat, and wiped my eyes.

"You don't have to tell me…"

"No, I want to." He nodded.

"Well he came in one night while Lucas was just sleeping, we weren't even doing anything, besides sleeping, and he starts yelling at Lucas, telling him to get the fuck out of his house. When Lucas left my dad came back with more whiskey, and he said that if I was going to act like such a who-ore," by now I was just crying. "Then he would treat me like one, then he started to tou-u-ch me, all over me, then I didn't tell anyone because I was afraid of getting in trouble. So then when he came in the next night, he did it again. I felt so dirty, I started to cut myself, then I realized it helps, and that if I did that, I would be fine. Then after a month of him doing this to me, I kept asking him to stop, then I realized that only made him more anxious, and it hurt more, but then he decided that he needed to do more, and he," I sighed. "He raped me, over, and over and over again." I tried to scream because it hurt so bad, then he threw my lamp at my head, so I passed out. When I woke up I was covered in my own blood all over my bed, completely naked. I quickly cleaned up and went to m bathroom to cut myself again, only I decided to cut deeper, so I slit down instead of across, hoping it would help more. It didn't, because I woke up the next day in the hospital, my arms and body strapped down to the bed. I thought that they new everything, but they didn't. then my dad came in and started yelling how I should of never did that to myself, I thought 'hey he actually cares,' then he got real close to my head, and told me that he would just have to find another toy," I sighed and started to cry again, this time Eli pulled me into his arms, this was the first time I felt comfortable with a guy touching me except Lucas.

"So I knew I had to tell to save someone else from this, when I did Lucas was always there for me, he is over protective, and I can't help but love him. I couldn't be at my house for 6 months after that, so he tried to let his parents to let me stay there. When they told him no, he played the guilt card, my mom thought it was offensive, but I thought it was cute, because it worked. He would sleep with me every night and talk to me about nonsense until I could fall asleep. He would do that every, single, night until I told him I was ready to go home, even then for the first couple nights he would stay on the phone with me until I fell asleep. Then after another 6 months I came to Degrassi! I was doing really well with forgetting about it all, then I met KC, he was sweet and nice to me, when all I wanted to do was push everyone away, I thought I was being stupid not giving KC what he wanted, I thought it was mean for me to make him stay with me for nothing in return, so I tried to do that with him, but once we got into the moment, I just saw," I kept crying and Eli just held me, it felt so nice, just being held, by another guy without freaking out. "I just saw my dad over top of me yelling at me and I couldn't do it, I pushed him off me and ran out of the place, he forgave me but I could tell he was still mad, so I cut myself for making him sad with my stupid past, it was all my fault and I just let him slip away into Jenna's hands, Jenna who didn't have a fucked up life, who could make him happy, so I kept cutting myself for the littlest reason, I cut when he first flirted, I cut when he broke up with me, then when I saw him the very next day making out with her. I cut when I found out he was molested, and I thought maybe he'd want to be my friend, but he went to Jenna for support, I cut when I realized no one could ever like me after that. I stopped for a while, but when I have a bad day, all my emotions just come out and I can't help but cut," I pointed to on that looked a little different. "One time, after my Therapist took all of my sharp things away, I just scratched until it started to bleed. I have no idea why I am telling you this, but I feel like I can trust you, I am just a messed up person, a guy can't even touch me without me spazzing out in front of the whole school. The only guy who could touch me after that was Lucas, but here I am practically on top of you, and I feel fine, safe. But when Caleb tries to flirt with me, much to my despise, and touches my sides, I freak out. I wish I was like Jenna, she has it so easy, or Alli, but I would never want to put my pain onto anyone else, I'd rather people be happy if they can, I try my best to be happy, but it's hard when everyone is always being super careful around you, my mom wont even cut vegetables with me in the room, she's afraid I'll lunge over the counter to grab her knife because I am sooooo addicted to it," I said that part sarcastically of course. "Or there always using it against me," I looked at him waiting for him to say something, he just sits there. I shouldn't have said anything, I started to try to get out of the car, mumbling an I'm sorry, but he just pulled me back into a hug, I was utterly confused to say the least.

"I have never met someone like you before, Clare." Those were the kindest words I have ever heard, or the rudest, but I have a feeling that it was the kindest.


	5. Chapter 5

_**What do you think? bad? good? original? not so? tell me!**_

_**

* * *

**_

Eli POV

When Clare told me about her past, it was like a novel that I've only read the description to. Maybe more like a lifetime movie, based off of true events. When Clare told me about her past, it made me only like her more. I kept going over everything I liked about her in my head. I forgot she was probably waiting for me to say something, and when I didn't, I guess she thought that it was too much for me, but it wasn't. She mumbled an apology to me while trying to climb out of the car, but I stopped her, I wasn't shocked in a bad way, I was shocked at how much this affected me, in a way that I didn't know it could. I said what was on my mind.

"I have never met someone like you before, Clare." She smiled, which was good. It was the most honest thing I have ever said.

"But, I am still broken," she said it like it was her fault, like if she tried harder, it would happen, but I wont, trying to fix your heart by force would only make things worse.

"Clare, your perfect." That seemed to set her off. I don't know why though, but she quickly scooted to the other side of the car, and asked me to drive her home, I did as she said, she ran out of Morty before I could stop her, to ask her what was wrong, I saw her wipe her eyes off and run down the street, I wondered what was wrong, but I knew from experience, that when you run, the last thing you want is someone running after you.

* * *

CLARE POV

"_Clare, you're perfect." _

"_Dad, please stop, stop, I promise I tell anyone, but please, dad you're hurting me." I was crying hard now, and he was hurting me worse. _

My head snapped up and I looked at the clock, 3 a.m. I couldn't call Lucas, he needed to sleep, so I went on to my computer, to pull up some music, hoping to fall asleep, it only made me content, I sat in the corner, rocking myself, until my door opened, and my mom was standing there with a heart broken face. I wasn't really looking at her, but staring into space.

"Clare, honey you're an hour late for school, I'll call the school, and tell them you cant make it." I continued to rock myself, afraid to get out of my trance.

_Clare, you're perfect…_

_

* * *

_

LUCAS POV

I was bringing Clare's work to the office, when I heard Simpson on the phone.

"Mrs. Edwards I understand, yes, still hurting her self? We will take actions, we will have someone walk her to each of her classes, and make sure she gets home harmlessly. Back to her old techniques? Rocking in the corner for over 12 hours? Are you- okay, okay, yes ma'm, tell Ms. Edwards I hope she gets better." I only heard half of the conversation, but half was enough, Clare was hurting, physically and emotionally, what had happened to make this happen? My brother? No, she is used to that, then what?

_Eli,_

I will find out what he said to her, or did.

* * *

BEFORE ENGLISH CLASS  
ZOE POV

"Yea I heard that she rode home in the hearse, the Goldsworthy kid was driving it. Yea I wonder if that's why she isn't here today, the last time she was ever absent was when she was cutting herself in the bathroom." She is SUCH a drama queen; I turned around to see my sister, Toni.

"Shut the hell up Zoe, she is sick, she is hurt, you are such a bitch!" why the hell was she defending her?

"It's not like you like her? Why are you defending her?"

"It's not that I don't like her, she is just my brother's friend, so why would I hang out with her?"

* * *

TONI POV

I had to lie, I mean, I was slightly attracted to Clare, but I wouldn't admit that to anyone, I mean everyone knows I like girls, but I couldn't admit I liked Clare, especially when she's is, 1. Straight and 2. My brothers BFF.

"It's not like she deserves anyone's support, it happened TWO YEARS AGO! Time to move on!"

"What the hell is your problem? It takes more than 2 years to get over something like that, when people use it against you, have you seen the way she is nice to absolutely everyone, even you, and you are a total bitch to her!" she stomped off, it took all of me not to kill her there.

"So, have you heard anything about Clare?" why was Eli wondering? Whatever.

"Yea my brother has been over at her house all day, she is basically taking a step forward, and 5 steps back, she back to her hallucinations, she would mumble stuff, and she's doing it again, like a conversation, only she would say both parts, which makes it confusing, she doesn't care that she is acting this way, she feels alone, she cant feel anyone's presence. I feel so bad for her; I wish I knew a way to help." He looked confused,

"Well what stuff does she say?" why was her sooooo damn curious?

"Well, mostly stuff about her dad, like mostly stuff like. 'Clare, you're perfect' than she would scream in pain begging it to go away, like it was happening again. Then she would bolt out of the door, and just run to the cliff, by her house, no matter where she was currently, she always found her way to the cliff. At first we thought it was suicide, but she just sits there for hours and carves things into the rock, and writes on her notebook, or cries, and then comes home. It's all absent mindedly because on a normal day, she wouldn't remember where the cliff even was,"

"How do you know so much of this stuff anyway?" I nodded; I knew he would ask that.

"I would always be the one to fallow her to the cliff, and sometimes when she wasn't better but subsided, she would wake up at 3 a.m. on the dot. Exactly as the clock strikes 3. We don't know why, then she'd put on music, and swear it was to go back to bed, but really she'd find the most hidden corner, and rock herself there, for days sometimes." He had a look on his face, and then he just ran off. Hmm, I wonder what that's about. Oh well.


	6. Chapter 6

_**WELL?**_

ELI POV

Wait what? I told Clare she was perfect. Oh no. I caused this, it's my entire fault! How could I be so stupid? I was trying so hard to be her friend, hoping that one day, I could be more, but I just blew that out of the water. I need to at least apologize, and then do whatever she wants me to do, or whatever is in her best interest.

IN CLARES DRIVEWAY  
ELI POV

"Shit, I thought you took all her blades away?" I heard yelling from in the house.

"I did, watch your language, she bit herself, then scratched herself, I didn't know until it was to late, she has tried to punch the mirror, but I locked the bathroom door." I hadn't realized how bad she was.

"Man, she is just going backwards into the process, first the hallucinations, then the talking and cutting what's ne-"he was cut off by a loud shrieking.

"Shit, we have to tie her down; she's trying to claw her eyes out again! Call the doctor back," they were to late, she tried to jump out of the window, luckily, she fell on the balcony, but tried to climb down, but as soon as she did I grabbed her, they came running out of the house.

"Let her go, Eli, she needs to go." I was so shocked; they wanted to let her go? What the hell is there problem?

"What? Why?"

"Just do it!" I went to let her go, but she wrapped her arms around my torso, hugging me. What? A woman tried to take her off me, she wouldn't budge, she kept her arms around me, and started to cry, I hugged her back, rubbing her arm.

"Eli, I am so happy to see you," why was she happy to see me? I started this, right?

"Who are you?" a woman who looked similar to Clare, but had longer browner hair, and brown eyes, and older. Her mother.

"I'm Eli, Clare's friend from school. Nice to meet you Mrs. Edwards." She looked offended.

"HA! I am Clare's older sister, Darcy." She started mumbling under her breath stuff about being old, then an even older woman walked out, this time probably her mother.

"So, you must be Eli," how did she know?

"Wait, this is Eli, Eli? As in the Eli?" what the hell were they talking about? Lucas walked out of the house.

"Yup, that's him." Okay, now I need to know what's up, I look at the girl in my arms, to see she is sleeping, hmm.

"What are you guys talking about? Thee Eli? Huh?"

"Here, I'll explain, just come lay her down on the couch." I did as they said, as soon as I did; she woke up and just cried. I was confused to say the least.

"I am an h-h-horrible person, Eli j-just go home okay? I am s-s-sorry," I couldn't let her go on, I sat down and hugged her.

"You are the best person I know, you could never be a horrible person, and btw I am not leaving, I just miss you too much blue eyes," she smiled, it was like no one was in the room. I looked up, and there was really no one in the room, hmm.

"So blue eyes, what do you want to do?" she smiled even bigger.

"You know Eli, you are the best person I know, I am sitting here, a complete wreck and you make me feel like nothing has ever or will ever go wrong in my life, who are you Elijah Goldsworthy?" I smirked, already making her better.

"I am Elijah Goldsworthy, junior at Degrassi high school, friends of, Adam Torres, Toni Dean, and Clare Edwards, and future best selling novelist, you?" she started to giggle, then sighed,

"Eli , I really wish I was better, for everyone's sake, I mean look around, everyone is on edge because of me, I just cant seem to move on." I sighed as well.

"You cant blame this on yourself, your doing an amazing job, everyone who has a hard past cant just move on instantly without any reminders of their past. Ask any one." She smiled sadly,

"You said you had a hard past, but your doing just fine, what happened to you." I looked down; I don't know if she could handle my story right now. I mean I want her to know but I don't think she needs the pressure.

"In time young grass hopper, in time."

"Eli, not to be rude, again, but why are you wasting your time with me, when you could be off with Adam or Toni, or just at home, enjoying anything you want to?" hmm, she really thought I'd prefer to be anywhere then here? With her?

"Why Clare, did you NOT just hear me say you are the best person I know? JEEZ, to think I poured my heart into that!" I replied very sarcastically,

"Eli, I am serious." She was serious, dead serious.

"Clare, so am I, I like spending time with you, now sleep you look tired." She shook her head.

"Nope, I just want to spend time with you too." I sighed, what could I do to make her sleep?

"What if I said I was so tired to? Can I lay with you PLEEAASSSSEE?" I said like I was a 5 year old who had a nightmare. She giggled, and nodded her head. I wrapped my arms around her and laid on the couch, she quickly got up and dragged me off the couch, to her room. She laid on her bed, and patted the spot next to her. Without hesitation, I climbed onto her bed, realizing that half of her room was totally trashed, her bathroom bolted shut.

"Maybe we should just go back-" I cut her off,

"Clare don't even worry, lets just sleep." She smiled, and I wrapped my arms around her again, this time she snuggled her head into my chest. Not five minutes later we were both sleeping. I woke up to a weird noise, I looked at the clock, 3:00 A.M. oh no, but I looked down and Clare was mumbling stuff, all I could hear was "Eli, different, and amazing," was she dreaming of me? I fell back asleep smiling. I am starting to think that maybe I should tell her my past, I think she can handle it.


	7. Chapter 7

Clare POV

Life is such a mysterious thing, especially my life. Why did I have to be the victim? Why couldn't I be the hero for once? Why couldn't I make peoples lives better? Why was I always miserable, and why did I bring everyone's lives down with me. My mom, sister, best friend, and now Eli. _Eli_. He is my hero, my true hero. He has done for me what no one could do, or would do. I respect him; I feel an attachment to him. I feel like he draws me out to him, calling me without him knowing,_ does he know_? I can't help but wonder if he knows how he makes me feel, I mean, I don't even know how he makes me feel.

"Clare, are you okay." I look up to my green eyed friend, lying next to me, like it wasn't a big deal. I smiled so huge, I couldn't help it. He smiled back, just as huge.

"I am great, you?" he nodded.

"Well, blue eyes, I am just peachy, but I think its time that I tell you the truth." Oh no, what hasn't he told me? I knew he was to good to be true? He must've seen the expression on my face, because he quickly rephrased.

"No, I mean, tell you my story, my past." I sighed in relief.

"Geez, you scared me there for a minute, I thought you were going to say you were some killer or something! Ha ha." He froze. Wait why didn't he laugh too?

ELI POV  
some killer. Nice Clare, hit it right on the head.

"Well I think I should start from the beginning." She nodded, and sat up. Here goes nothing. That's what people say in a time like this, but what they mean, is here goes everything, everything that matters, everything that you cant live without, I feel like telling Clare would make her hate me the way my mother did, but then another side of me tells me that she will be understanding, and hold my hand through this, well, here goes everything.

"When I was 5 years old, my dad told me that he was sick, and that god needed his help. I believed him; I told myself every night that god would still be there for me, even if he took what was most important to me. I kept praying for a couple of weeks until my mom was on the phone crying, loudly one night. I got out of bed and ran to the kitchen to see what was wrong. As soon as I got there, she was just laying on the floor, looking at the ceiling. I lay next to her and held her hand; I asked her what was wrong. She told me 'god hates us Eli, he doesn't think were worth being happy. He killed your daddy.' I cried my eyes out for a week, then one day my mom walked out of the house, she just left her 5 year old son alone, I was scared, and alone. Of course being 5 I had no idea of what to do, so I just watched T.V. thinking that she would be home with dinner soon. The day went by, and I was afraid for her. She never came home that night, so I went next door, to my neighbor's house. I knocked on the door, and told them that mom left, they invited me in, and fed me. I went home the next day, in hope my mother was there. She was, with some random guy I didn't know. They were having sex on the couch. Of course I didn't know what was happening, I was 5. She started screaming at me telling me I ruined her life, and if I wasn't so stupid, god might of taken me instead of my dad." I paused, looking up at Clare, her eyes were glossy, and she was rubbing my hand encouraging me to go on.

"I went to bed thinking she was right, that night I asked god what I did to not be good enough to die. I soon came to the conclusion that if I wasn't good enough to die, then neither was my mother. Soon we were kicked out of our house, she asked one of her 'friends' if we could stay there and she would make it up to him. Of course he agreed. But what I didn't know was that she kept giving him sexual favors. Then one day she told me I would have a baby sister, I was so angry, I didn't know what to do, that baby didn't deserve to live, it deserved to have better parents, so I told myself that I would be there for the baby. I was jealous of it while she was pregnant; she always forgot about me and continued to favor the baby over me. I knew that as soon as it popped out, it would be a forgotten factor, like me. Then when I was 6 she was born, my little sister. Charleigh Goldsworthy. My fathers name was Charlie, but the baby's father didn't know that. I wouldn't be the one to tell him. Once my sister was one years old, I took care of her, I was 7 and practically her parent. My mom and her dad were always out they came home every night about midnight, so by then I had learned to cook and clean. I would get up at 5 O'clock in the morning, and cook breakfast for my mom, me, Charleigh, and her dad. I never actually knew his name. Then I would give Char a bath, and I'd take a shower. Id get us dressed, and we'd sneak over to Mrs. Thompson's house, she secretly homeschooled me. She would help me with Charleigh. This went on until Charleigh was 1 and a half. We were at Mrs. Thompson's house, when Charleigh said her first word. She called me daddy. Mrs. Thompson started to cry telling me that from now on, we would stay with her; the saddest part was my mom didn't even protest, she willingly gave us to her. She was only a little older than my mom. It was a weird feeling to be taken care of, instead of taking care of someone else. Charleigh started calling her mom, and eventually me Eli. I was going to public school, and when I was 11, and Charleigh started going to school, I was so protective of her. I wouldn't let her go anywhere without me, even to her class. But then the next year I had to go to middle school. I worried over nothing, she did fine, then when I was finally getting over my fear of having her out of my sight, I was called down to my office. It was my mom, I was so scared, she told me we were leaving, and we were going to get Charleigh. She told me that Mrs. Thompson called and said that she didn't want us anymore. So we complied, but I was always around Charleigh. Then one night, I woke up sweating, and Charleigh was nowhere to be found. I ran everywhere looking for her, to find her in her dads room, on the floor covered in blood, naked. I cried my eyes out, and then my mom came at me with a curling iron, I pushed her off of me and she fell against the corner of the table, and hit her head. She bled to death on the floor; I called 911 and told them everything. I killed my mom and my sister, and my dad. I blamed myself for years, and cut myself, and tried to kill myself numerous times. Then one day Mrs. Thompson showed up at my hospital that they kept me in, I was livid with her for just throwing us out, but she explained to me that she still wanted us, but my mom wouldn't let her have us, she took me out of that horrid hospital, and took me into her house, that was two years ago. Then she told me we needed a fresh start, and we moved here. I never thought that I would or could be happy again, but she made me better. I still talk to my sister and dad all the time; they told me that my mom and my sister's dad were strung out on heroine, and vodka. That it wasn't my fault, and that she would've died that night anyway. It didn't make me feel better, but I finally realized that she was wrong, that I was good enough to die, but I was also good enough to live, and she wasn't." I looked up at Clare to see tears streaming down her face; I looked up at her and gave her a smile. She jumped in my lap and hugged me tightly.

"Eli, I am so glad you told me, I shouldn't of been throwing my problems at you, when you have enough on your plate." I looked at her and gave her the most genuine smile I had.

"Clare, you didn't throw your problems on me, geez get over yourself." I was being sarcastic, but I knew she could see threw it.

"If you ever need to talk, I am here, okay?" she smiled at me, and we laid there in silence, just looking at each other for at least an hour, I have never had an experience so intense and wonderful before.

"Eli, you are like no boy I have ever met." I smiled at that,

"You wish you had though." Again with my covering sarcasm, that she could see threw.

"Your right, I wish I did." And with that we just sat there, in the silence living in the presence of one another, not caring about the outside world.


	8. Chapter 8

CLARE POV

"Please Lucas; you know that you like him! Get over it and tell him!" he sighed.

"I could say the same thing to you, couldn't I?" I looked down, it was complicated, sure I liked Eli, but I have never liked anyone before, and I don't think I am ready for a relationship yet.

"Look, I'm sorry I know that was a low blow." He was truly sorry.

"It's okay I know you didn't mean it." Just as I rounded the corner, I was faced by the person I wanted to see the least.

"So, Clare, I was wondering if maybe you wanted to go out this weekend." I sneered.

"Actually, I might be too busy filing a restraining order against a certain someone if you don't leave me alone!" I pushed past him to the exit of the school, I can't stay here, I just can't. I started walking home, when I ran into a certain best friend's sister.

"Hey Clare, how are you?" wait, was Toni being NICE?

"Um, I'm good, you?" she nodded

"Good, well I'll see you around." She left; I was confused to say the least, what was with her?

When I got home, my mom wasn't home, Darcy wasn't home, and Lucas wasn't there. I was alone, for the first time in about 3 years. What could I do? I haven't been home alone in so long, so I did the only thing I wanted to do when no one was around.

I turned on the radio, and blared random music out of the speakers, I started to scream, as loud as I could, because no one would here, then I smiled. Grabbed some ice cream, and randomly danced for about an hour. I still had 2 hours before I wasn't alone anymore, so what should I do? I sat down and turned on the television thinking of what to do, when the door bell rang, I put my spoon in my ice cream, and placed it on the table, I trudged to the door, in my PJ's not caring who saw because I was alone, free to embarrass myself.

I opened the door, and Eli was standing there, oh no. I am in my PJ's, alone. I am not supposed to be alone, I don't even know why I answered the door, I'm sure he wont say anything.

"Nice PJ's Edwards." I blushed.

"So, what are you doing here?" I asked not trying to be rude.

"Just seeing if you wanted to hangout, I was bored, and thought 'hey why not?'" I nodded.

"School wasn't to your liking?" he knew I was playing around, but it was still fun,

"I could say the same to you. I have a feeling your not sick, you have ice cream and your in PJ's watching T.V. and there isn't anyone else home." My face paled. Oh no, he knew that no one was home.

"Well, how do you know my mom or Darcy isn't up stairs or anything?" he gave me the look.

"Don't worry I wont tell anyone, I used to sneak too. I scratched my forehead, out of awkwardness.

"SO, what do you wanna do?" he smiled,

"We could just hangout here, what were you doing before I came over." I sighed.

"Honestly?" he nodded.

"Thinking of what to do with out supervision, but I see that fell through." He laughed,

"I'm not here to supervise you Clare, I'm here to hangout with you, supervision free." This time I laughed,

"So, what do people do without supervision?"

"Well Edwards, I could take you to your room and show you?" I blushed, I like how he isn't afraid that sex jokes will offend me, and all my other friends keep walking on eggshells around the subject.

I just smiled,

"What's with the smile?" I shook my head,

"It's nothing, it's just, I love how carefree you are around me, no one else does that, I can never have a conversation with anyone not worrying about what ever they plan on saying offending me, or scaring me, never a carefree conversation, like how it's supposed to be." He nodded.

"I am just full of surprises Edwards." I laughed.

"So Goldsworthy, what can we do without supervision, and with our minds OUT of the gutter?" I crossed my arms over my chest, and put my weight on my right hip, waiting for an answer.

"Clare, Clare, Clare, I think we should just do what ever you were doing before I came over," I blushed, I was screaming to loud music, and dancing like a fool. No way am I telling him that.

"So Clare, what were you doing that made you blush?" I smiled at him, with mischief,

"Wouldn't you like to know." He was shocked to say the least,

"I'll be right back." I said as I put my finger up. I started walking up stairs, to change. As I took off my PJ's I was about to put on my bra, when suddenly my door opened.

"ELI SHUT THE DOOR!" he saw me and his eyes bugged out, then he quickly turned around and covered up his eyes.

"SORRY! Where's the bathroom?" I was freaking out. No one and I repeat no one has ever seen me so, naked.

"NOT HERE!" he quickly shut the door, and raced down stairs. I sat on my bed, and finished getting dressed, I was detracted by the flash backs of my past. Someone has seen me naked. Only too bad it was my own father.

I look and see the permanent scars on my arms and torso, crawling up to my neck. It wasn't something I want anyone to ever see, it's too bad I see it everyday.

Thanks to my father, I wont ever be beautiful.


	9. Chapter 9

ELI POV

I can't believe that I just walked in on Clare changing… What the FUCK! Is my problem? She had scars along her whole body, battling scars, self inflicted, and other wards, defensive scars. I can't imagine how she felt. She has been in her room for about 20 minutes, and I'm sure it's because of me. Great job, Eli.

"Sorry, I was trying to find a shirt." She was a pretty bad liar, but I wasn't going to push it, I knew it was because of what just happened.

"So, what are we doing to day?" she looked down.

"Actually, I don't feel too good, you should probably go home, or something," I sighed.

"Clare," she cut me off.

"Maybe Adam needs you for something, I'm just going to go lay down, I'm not feeling well." she mumbled, again, I knew she was lying.

"Clare, are you okay?"

"Yea, just a stomach bug or something, I'll see you tomorrow Eli!" she was trying really hard to seem enthusiastic, yet failing miserably.

"Alright, I guess I'll see you tomorrow, just remember, if you ever need to talk, I'm here." she smiled, an actual smile.

"Thanks Eli that means a lot to me." She started to run upstairs, I slowly but surely made my way to the door. I shouldn't be leaving her here like this.

I walked back into the house, and started up the stairs. Clare was sitting in the hallway, with her hands in fists, with her hair in-between each fist, out of frustration. And tears silently flowing down her face.

"Clare…" I sighed out. She jumped up, and faced her back to me, walking into her bedroom, trying to hide the fact that she's whipping her tears away.

"Did you, um forget something Eli?" she put on the most miserable smile I have ever seen.

"Clare, it's going to be okay, you don't have to lie to me, ever. I am here to talk to you, anytime. Please remember that."

I went to grab her arm, and she winced and pulled away, trying to walk away, but I grabbed her wrists, and pulled up her sleeve, to see three new fresh, angry marks, thrashed across her arms.

"Clare, why did you do this?" she pulled away, but I pulled her into a hug, she kept on trying to tell me everything was okay.

"It's just my stomach, I'm fine, just my stomach. Everything will be okay, it's just my god damned stomach." She kept mumbling this, while crying, but I felt like she was talking more to herself than to me.

She kept repeating this so much that it hurt to hear it, I put my fingers to her lips.

"Clare, everything will be okay, you trust me right?"

CLARE POV

"_Stop, please! Get off of me!" _

_One clawing to the stomach later._

"_OW! It hurts!"_

"_You trust me right?"_

"_NO!"_

"_BITCH!"_

_*end of flashback*_

"Yes…" I cried into his shoulder again, I hated myself. Over and over again.

ELI POV

"Eli, why don't I get a chance?"?

"What are you talking about?"

"I didn't get my chance to be beautiful…" it was barely a whisper, but it broke my heart.

"Clare, your too beautiful for your own good." She pushed herself off of my, and ripped her shirt up, barely covering her chest.

"Then what is this Eli! and this! And this!" she kept showing me more scars. And it broke my heart seeing it because no matter how battered or bruised she is, she will always be beautiful.

She still was crying. Put pulling her clothes back on.

"Clare, you are beautiful, and a great person and a lot of people love you!" she looked down.

"I don't feel to thrilled about myself. I wish I could be someone else, someone that goes on dates, and can be with a guy without thinking about their father. I wish-"I cut her off, she didn't need to say anything more, I just looked at her, as we laid on her bed.

"Clare, you are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen." She smiled and put her arm around me, and closed her eyes. I smiled, knowing she was feeling better.

"Eli, is it… never mind." She rolled over, away from me, and wrapped herself into a ball."

"Clare, what is it?" she sighed,

"Trust me, you don't want to hear it," I looked at her.

"Clare, try me. You can tell me anything."

"Okay, I warned you…" she was silent for a minute.

"Is it bad, that all I want to do right now is, is kiss you?" I blinked a few times, making sure I heard her right. She took that as my answer and rolled back over, into her ball, away from my grasp.

"Eli, just go." I really didn't know what to do, did she really want me to leave?

"Nope, I'm gunna just sit here, and when your ready to kiss me, I'll be right here." she scoffed.

"You really don't have to do that. I get you wanna be here for me, or whatever, but that has nothing to do with it." She thought I didn't want to kiss her?

So I kissed her, she didn't hesitate, or pull away, she just kissed back, making me kiss her even deeper, and she went with it.

"Eli, I don't know why you did that,"

"Because is it so bad that I wanted to kiss you too?"

She smiled, and leaned in to kiss me, it was pure bliss, her lips coexisting in mine, felt like a lair of silk forming.

It was amazing until she suddenly pulled back, her eyes wide.

"I have to go, to the uh bathroom." She jumped up and ran to the bathroom. What was wrong? Did I do something?

CLARE POV

Ugh! What is wrong with me? Why couldn't I just sit there and kiss him. I started feeling this excitement building inside me, and then right when I realized what it was, I freaked. I never felt like this before, so into anyone before. She never felt the need to be around someone the way she did around Eli. She was with KC, but it didn't control her like this, and that was what was scaring her the most.

I walked into the bedroom, to see Eli deep in thought.

"Sorry about that." He snapped out of it.

"Are you okay?" I nodded, and swallowed the lump in my throat.


	10. Chapter 10 FINALLE!

"Are you alright?"

I didn't want her feel like I was pushing her into this, by any means. She sat down, looking every where but at me, and I needed to know what was up.

"Clare, don't feel like you have to do this, I understand." She looked at me, like she was searching for something, but sighed in defeat.

"Why are you like this Eli?" I was so confused, what did I do?

"What? What did I do?"

"THAT! ELI THAT! Why can't you not be so nice and caring about _everything_? I mean, I don't understand why I feel this way about you at all." I sighed, and chuckled a little.

CLARE POV

"Eli, it's just when ever I'm around you, it's like I lose my self control, and I forget about everything, I just don't understand it!" I looked at him again, searching for my answer, but to no avail. I just leaned in and kissed him, hard. At first he was hesitant, but I didn't want him to be so gentle, I wanted him to kiss me like he means it.

"What was that for?" he asked me, with a cute little smile on his lips.

"I want to take advantage of this feeling Eli. When I'm with you, I feel so normal, I just, I want to be with you all the time, because you make me happy!"

Eli POV

I made her happy. I, Elijah Goldsworthy, made her happy. It made me happy to make her happy.

"Well Ms. Edwards, I am glad to be of assistance." She smiled so huge, and then she started crying, I was worried again.

"What's wrong?" she shook her head, still crying.

"I've never been this happy before, with anyone not even Lucas, but you cannot tell him that."

I smiled back at her, and then her phone went off.

CLARE POV

_Clare, meet me at the Dot, its IMPORDANTE! –Lucas._

I smiled, he always used Spanish, and it was cute.

"I have to go to the Dot, and meet Lucas." He smiled at me, and we went to his car. He dropped me off at the Dot, and when I walked in, I saw Lucas bugging out.

"Lucas, chill, what's wrong?"

"NO, nothings wrong, everything is just, it's great." I was confused now.

"What?"

"I went to football practice, and I was of course thinking of Drew, until this new kid walked in, he was so, so, SO cute!" I waited, knowing he wasn't done.

"So, we were changing, and people were making rude comments about him being gay, and I was ecstatic. I was telling them to stop, because it's okay to be gay, and they were like. What are you gay or something? And let me tell you, I was so pissed, that I said, YES I'M GAY, IS THAT OKAY WITH YOU?" I was so shocked, he finally told!

I started crying happy tears again, and he came over to my side of the table and hugged me.

"Lucas, I am so proud of you, you have no idea how happy I am for you!" Just as he was about to say something, this guy walked in, super sexy, and Lucas got wide eyed? He smiled a sexy ass smile, and came to sit next to us.

"Hi, I'm Zane. I just wanted to say thanks for sticking up for me today. It means a lot." Lucas smiled like a damn fool.

"It was no problem, it feels so great having people know, I don't feel like I'm living a lie anymore." He smiled again.

"I'm proud of you; it usually takes more for someone to come out, than standing up for another person. I'd like to pay you back for it, here's my number call me anytime." I squealed, and he sent me a look of embarrassment.

"Sorry," the guy, took my hand and kissed it, it was so cute, he was such a Casanova, only for the guys, I blushed, and nodded my head as he walked away.

"So, he is a definite keeper!" I jumped up and down and clapped, and he blushed in embarrassment.

"Only, how will I tell my family?"

"I'll go with you, its okay." He smiled at me, as we walked over to his house. We purposefully walked the long way, and stopped for a drink twice; knowing what was waiting at the end of this journey.

"I think I have to use the restroom." I sighed, and gave him a look, telling him that I clearly, knew he didn't. When we got to his house, we slowly walked into the living room.

"Guys, we need to talk." He said looking over at all his family.

He started to tear up, and I whipped them from his cheeks.

"I'm, I'm gay." He said, with his voice breaking at the end.

"We know. I'm just glad you told us." I smiled widely at his mother, and from then on, I knew everything was going to be alright.


End file.
